What do you ask did I get for my birthday? From my rents I got chocolate (to share with D since we always make late night runs), a magazine about creative writing with contests I could enter, a book on Twilight and Philosophy (rather have the psychology one), from a friend she surprised me with cupcakes and a sticker book of Scooby (best present I think), my co-worker has something for me, and D gave me a birthday bowl (yes, no?) and the movie “coupons”. For my birthday one year and for Valentine’s Day he wrote these long letters. This year he wrote not even something worthy of a paragraph and not even very sincere. I tried to be as happy as I could.. The movie was amazing, I loved it.. but ouch.. He can surprise me with roses for no reason, but nothing on my birthday. He even promised me a nice dinner somewhere, well that didn’t happen. He said my birthday snuck up on him. How when I reminded him of it since the 2 month mark? The man I love gives me nothing for holidays. The yo-yo he bought broke yesterday.

I went to the doctor at school and had them run a thyroid and iron test on me. It all came back good, which I thought it would. So I don’t know what is going on with me, I know it’s something though and I don’t think it’s just stress. I’ve been trying to cut out bread, pasta and dairy from my diet, just make them treats, but it’s hard when that’s pretty much all my mother makes. I finally started working out, going to the gym to walk for a half hour on the treadmill. It’s hard to stay on it, like today, I want to, but I haven’t budged. My excuse: I need work out pants, which is true, but I don’t feel like going and getting them. I think I should wait until my tattoo heals.

And here is the biggest slap in the face to me. I was the one that spent the most on myself for my birthday. I payed for my first tattoo. I drew it and everything. The artist made it into a more tattoo like design with the curls on the end, but it was all me. D and my mom went with me, I drove in my car (I wanted to) and we all sat in this little space as the artist inked the design. I only jumped once and had no other issues with it. It is still a little sore, but it’s healing nicely I think. I can understand why they’re addicting. And it doesn’t help I have so many in mind.

I had an interview at a new job. Seasonal. So there is no guarantee on hours or day or night shifts. So I’m going to decline. Plus they need a drug test and I’m not keen on those. I’d rather stay where I am, making about 680 a month, where I’d be lucky to make half that at the other job, save as much as I can for the holidays and then find something else after seasonal. It fuckin sucks and I can’t get up the nerve to call them back and decline. Hate my job right now, but I need the money if I want to get out of here.

I’ve been so stressed lately and it sucks. Maybe I should go work out today, just to clear my mind and shit. I have a ton of homework due Monday and I’m putting that off too. So here’s to getting a plan together and actually getting things done. I have the goal to drop about 10 pounds by the end of the month, beginning of next month. It may be a bit much, but if I get my butt in gear then maybe it’ll work.